Jul
23
New Test: True Love Test
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Have you really fallen in love? How do you know that you don’t just have a shallow crush? This is really common.
Luckily, you can take this phoney love test and find out for sure if you are really in love. It’s probably worth it; you know you won’t be able to figure this out on your own. That would take too much thinking, which might hurt your sinuses (this has been proven, by science no less).
Jul
6
Falling in love with an authority figure is dreadfully common in Western society. Why else would the world become so infatuated with politicians and bankers? And why else would women love men in uniforms?
And this tendency is especially pronounced in young people who have an unavoidable proclivity to fall in love with their teachers. I can even begin to count the number of young acquaintances of mine who have expressed just this sentiment.
Take this test and find out if you have a crush on your teacher.
Jun
25
New Test: Are You a Stalker?
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People fall in love all the time. It’s true, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. But how do you know for sure that you are really in love? And, more importantly, how do you know that you’re not just a stalker?
Do you past up pictures of your crush on top of the body of a supermodel in the inside of your locker? Do you sometimes forget where or who you are when you open up the locker and that gorgeous face is staring back at you from the card board year book photo on which it was imprinted using digital imaging technology?
You’re probably a stalker. But take this test just to make sure.
Jun
11
New Test: The Love Test
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This is a love test conducted by the University of Warwick. Unlike most of the love tests that you find online, this one is based in very solid scientific research. After all, it was developed by a prestigious psychology department, not by some thirteen year old who just discovered how to use the Internet to post banal musings about the nature of love.
This love test is perhaps less akin to a waste of time than any other love test that has ever been invented. What more could you ask for?
Jun
10
New Test: Do I Love My Cousin?
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Wow. I was surprised to stumble on this new online love test. It’s a test to find out if you are in love with your cousin. I can’t believe that someone actually made this.
But don’t worry, I don’t think it’s actually meant to be taken seriously. It’s more like a joke I guess (I hope).
In any case, I say that we petition the author to continue to make more tests in this quirky style. It is a welcome break from the more serious fare that we are used to reading.
Jun
4
New Test: Love Calculator Live
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This test will calculate your chances of finding love with any other person, simply by typing in his or her name.
How does it work? Well actually, I’ve been wondering that a bit myself. My best guess is that the love calculator send the information off to a terminal in a hut on the peak of one of the appalatian mountains that there is a little man there named Mr. Hudhole.
Mr. Hudhole knows all, especially concerning the ways of love. He types into his terminal what the chances are of you and your special someone getting together. These results are then beamed directly back to you, the whole process taking about seven point three seconds.
May
20
New Test: Is he cheating on you or did Cupid match you up perfectly?
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Wow, that’s a long title for such a short test, and a dangerous one at that. Do you REALLY want to know if your man is cheating on you? Some things are certainly better left unsaid.
But if you REALLY know that you want to know that you want to know if your man is cheating on you. This is certainly the test to take. It consists of fifteen yes or no questions that will take you three minutes at the most to complete (and probably less). At the end, you will find out if your guy is creepin’ on the side.
Apr
27
New Test: Are you REALLLYYYYY in love?
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Some times it’s hard to tell true love apart from your good old garden variety crush. Do you know what I mean? I’m sure that you do.
Well. Now you have the chance to find out once and for all if you are truly in love or if you’re just riding a long wave of infatuation.
Hint: if the person you think you are in love with is a big time pop star at your school, chances are you’re only crushing. But who knows? It’s always worth finding out, right?
Apr
20
New Test: What Type of Romantic Are You?
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There are so many types of romantics:
Hopeless romantics, early romantics, faux romantics, closet romantics….
The list goes on and on and on.
I know that deep down, you must fit right into one of these categories just like the hands of a lumberjane (a female lumberjack) fit into her sweaty winter mittens.
Please answer all eleven questions on this test. Otherwise it won’t be entirely accurate. And you KNOW that I don’t like it when you falsify your test scores. It’s tantamount to cheating on the SAT.
Apr
16
New Test: Is It Love?
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You may feel your heart beat like the carburetor in your grampa’s jalopy, but if you can’t quantify your relationship rationally, it may be hard to figure out if you’re actually in love.
After all, love is a very complicated thing. Who on earth can say that he or she really understands it?
But having said all of this, I think that it can’t hurt for you to take this simple love test, especially if you are a teen experiencing strong emotions for the first time.
Take this test, see what the result is, and if you’re unsure, talk to a counselor who can help you sort things out.
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